Friday Fund-Day

So this is much harder than I thought!

Anyone who has had to do fundraising before for a project or for their salary, knows of the kind of terrible feelings that well up inside at the thought of doing it. I now realize that I would rather fast from food for weeks than call someone about fundraising for my personal support. I don't know if I have ever hated something before this came into my life....and I am not even using a hint of sarcasm when I say this!

It is true that through fundraising, the darkest places in your life can come up, all your fears, doubts, prideful issues...all personal devils stand and loom before you with glaring clarity forcing to be battled against. Fundraising is my Goliath and so far I have acted like the frightened Israelites on the front lines, running away any time he appears, thinking they will be devoured and defeated.

I desire, however, to have a spirit like David, to be a warrior, brave, bold and courageous, a spirit to stand and face my enemy (Fundraising) and say "you come against me...but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty..." (1 Sam. 17:45). I know no other way to defeat this giant in my life except through the weapons of prayer and the Word of God, and it is proving to be a battle that is making progress and taking ground - with small steps and inch-by-inch.

Blessedly I have a team who believes in me and wants to encourage and challenge me specifically in this way. In vulnerablity and honesty, I come before my supervisor every week and share my struggles, ideas, confessions and hopes for fundraising and together we have created a plan and strategy to see me step forward and claim the victory. We are calling in Friday Fund-day, and every Friday is dedicated to personal fundraising and all that goes along with it.

I can almost guarantee that this will be a constant struggle and something that will stand before me personally, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, but is part of the journey that I want to give my life to as I desire wholeheartedly to follow after God and his calling. Fundraising is a spiritual discipline for me now, along with all the others, that is to be a part of my daily Christian walk.

Tomorrow is going to be my first Friday Fund-day!