A Beautiful Collision

We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.

- T.S. Eliot

So much is over and done.  So much to come and experience.  Endings and Beginnings.

This was a great season of growth and adventure.  To summarize months of children and young adults encountering the wildness and warmth of God would take more than words, but in short - it was wonderful.  There is always room to grow, change, try new things and do better, which is not a criticism but rather an encouragement to go further and believe God for even more.  I am excited to do it all again next summer.  With a month still to go on the island, a small community of us remain to host groups and lead canoe trips.  Thank you for the prayers, which were felt and always evident in our midst.  Please continue to uphold our community in your prayers, the staff who are returning to school and work, and the campers as they head back to school.  Please keep Chris and Kelly Milne in your prayers as Chris returns to his chemo treatment on Monday.

The breaking makes a sound I never knew

could be so beautiful and loud,

fury filled and we collide.

So courageous until now, 

fumbling and scared.

So afraid you'll find me out,

alone here with my doubt.

Here it comes,

a beautiful collision is happening now. 

There seems no end to where You begin

and there I am now

You and I collide.

Something circling inside,

spaciously you fly,

infinite and wide,

like the moon and sky collide.

Here it comes. 

- David Crowder

Out of the Wilderness

"In God's wilderness lies the hope of the world - the great fresh, unblighted, unredeemed wilderness. The galling harness of civilization drops off, and the wounds heal ere we are aware." - John Muir

This post comes out of a very different place than most, or so it seems. I just came out of the wilderness
and I am changed.

O how I love canoe tripping! How it stirs my Spirit and calls forth life!

Removed and in the middle of adventure, the wilderness revealed afresh the raw character of God
hope yelled loudly,
beauty stood powerfully,
silence resonated deeply,
peace dominated intensely
and healing came swiftly.

The Senses delighted in the purity of the environment and became tuned to the natural rhythms and true melodies that floated by and I felt more myself than ever before. I felt truly beautiful and heard my soul speak again and again, "This is what I was created for..." ...to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His sanctuary. And it was easy to do when surrounded by Creation's majesty. I felt alive, with new dimensions of truth and honesty, shifting things in my heart and stirring in my Spirit.

I am not sure what this means or what I am exactly to do now but I desire to live out of this place, to go deeper and be moved to action from the things I have seen, heard and experienced. To live out what this wilderness time deposited deep into my Spirit with wholehearted devotion and surrender.

There is beauty and pain
there is death and life
there is truth and deception
there is conviction and grace
...salvation and confession
Raw reality
and painful freedom
all together, all one
silently yelling in my Spirit
and I choose to respond
...crawling somehow
...limping
to glory

Time Out

Sometimes my words just don't come out the way I would like them to.

When explaining to a friend about why I was spending a couple of days in Winnipeg, I said I was having a Time Out....

I have not had a Time Out in ages and maybe it was about time that I did.  It definitely allowed me to step off the island for a couple of days, have a change of scenery and people, and be refreshed in my perspective and energy.  It was a wonderful time of connecting with friends and family; simply spending my time around people who make me feel good.  A Time Out offered me a chance to really think about what I am doing and why.

And I did not come out of it with any profound revelation or insight, but just a reassurance that this is exactly where God wants me, that He has me in the palm of His hand, that His Spirit is going before me and desires to move at camp this summer.  If anything, I am more excited about living at camp, being a part of an intense, intentional Christian community of young people and inviting children to come and experience God through fun and adventure.  This is an incredible place and an overwhelming blessing to feel Christ's peace in my calling here.

I couldn't wait to get back to the island and see everyone.

This week was difficult for the staff with a large school here who went on over-night canoe trips, leaving most people totally exhausted.  Being tired and living in community means that colds and flu's travel fast, so many people have slept all weekend and are now beginning to recover.  We could use prayer for the continued healing of the staff and for protection for the health of all who are on the island.  Thankfully, it is a quiet weekend and we do not have to host a large group.

Another prayer request would be for us staff who are leaving early tomorrow for a ten day river canoe trip - for safety, protection, and growth in relationships with God and each other.  Eight of us will be on the Turtle River for whitewater training and LIT (Leaders In Training) preparation. I am so excited I can barely contain it!!! I love canoe trips and this will be my first time doing rapids.  I will post reflections and pictures when I return from the trip...just in time for another Time Out in the city.

Almost Alive

When arriving on the island almost a month ago, the land seemed dead, dry and cold.  Today paints a very different picture, but this morning I reflected back to the words I wrote about it those weeks ago.

Almost Alive

Hope in the dead stillness

Life in the cold rawness

Seeing what can be

what will be

and what is

In blazing splendor

hidden and waiting

almost here

but still a secret

Soon, very soon

and then it will be alive

Summer will come

But now just hushed anticipation 

Waiting

I love that we can live in a climate that allows us to experience the full range of emotion in the seasons.  This morning I woke up and it smelled like summer....almost :)

Keep Coming

(This picture was at the very end of the weekend when I was just about ready to go crazy.  I am sitting with some of the Friesen cousins - Renee, Amy, and Alana as we waited for the last load of people and luggage to leave).

Hey, I'm still breathing...even smiling!

Work weekend came and went, leaving me a little shaky and run off my feet, but with a sense of great delight that so many people were able to come and have a wonderful time.  My biggest struggle was preparing to speak at chapel on Sunday.  For an entire week, I tried and tried to make space and time to work on it and seek direction, but to no avail.  By Saturday night, not only was I totally frustrated but almost out of time.  A couple of thoughts came and Psalm 27 as the base of the message, but that was it.  I had no option but to finally go to bed and pray that the morning would hold revelation or least a peace about standing in front of two hundred people with something to share.

It is amazing what a morning can do for me! A self-proclaimed "Super Morning Person," I function best and have the most energy around 6am, and it was there that God met me again.  Awaking with peace and confidence to go forth, with a message on my heart, the day was bright and exciting.

"Every time I'm here, I realize I should come here more often." This phrase from a friend whom I worked at camp with years again and reunited with on Friday night, was the starting point from which I shared some reflections about Beholding the Beauty of the LORD.  Here at camp, we have the rare chance of being surrounded by Creative Glory daily and the awareness of beauty and the still small voice of the Spirit acutely stir us to the reality of the God speaking and moving in and around us.  It is the Beauty of the LORD, not only in Creation, but in God himself, that draws us, captivates us, awakens us and that which calls so many of us to come again and again to this place, this camp, to a place is set apart and consecrated for the work of the Kingdom.

"Every time I'm here, I realize I should come here more often."

This sentiment of being at camp is only a captivating echo of the longing to dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD (Ps. 27:4).  The beauty of the tall, straight, towering pines, the sweet whistling of the gentle dusk breeze, to stand amidst a storm passing over, watching the early morning resting on the stillness of glassy water... all speak of something holy, something transcendent that is so much bigger than we are.

I pray that I may say 

"Every time I'm here,

I realize I should come here

more often"...

and mean it of the place with God.

the house of the LORD.

the Secret Place.

Where I seek His face.

One thing I desire.

To Behold the Beauty of the LORD.

You can tell I am a bit exhausted after the weekend, and you can see an update on the grease level of my hair as I pass the three week mark of not using shampoo...25 days today and going strong.

Invasion

"Work Weekend."  A phrase synonymous out here with hundreds of people, a lot of power tools, young children running around, many, many pots of coffee.....and thousands of meatballs.

The island will be swarmed by about two hundred people in a couple of hours and I am hiding away in my corner of the program office wondering how I might possibly disappear or make a fort in the forest where no one could find me.  The overwhelming feeling of an inevitable invasion with no defense in place is a new sensation that I can't say I like very much.  Nothing like a new leadership role to shake the foundations of who you thought you were, what you could do, what you believed and who God is.

I am terrified.  This will be good.

Starting at supper, I will play host to this diverse group of children, parents, alumni, workers, staff, Paddle Camp participants, instructors, directors, national Inter-Varsity workers and friends.  I am sure that once things get underway it will be alright, but this anticipation and anxiety about what is ahead is killing me.  Not only will I host Work Weekend but will also be the speaker for our big chapel service on Sunday.  

This invasion is an opportunity (forced as it may be), to step out, be challenged and face new responsibilities head on.  And I pray to be transformed.  I pray for two hundred people to meet with Jesus and leave changed.  There is a lot of work to do.

Ripple of the Divine

Being surrounded by the intensity of God's Creation constantly draws 

your Spirit to a deeper place 

of longing and awareness,

and whispers a more penetrating woo to the heart to Come Away. 

At times unbearable, 

the tangible greatness, power and creative majesty

awakens and calls forth a 

Divine reality.

Here in flash drama,

the thunder of your voice over the water with your Spirit hovering.

Striking with dynamic light, 

      the earth trembles

      to the rhythm of your Peace.

Gently resting and sitting buoyant,

held up by the deep.

Submerged but not drowning;

finding life and faith and freedom.

Being quiet and alone

and okay.

Sitting in awe

wave after wave

a ripple of the divine.

Jeremiah and Joel solo canoeing in the snow during an adventure we went on to hunt down ice.

 

Solo Canoeing has become my time and place to meet with God.  

Some of us went for a paddle last week and it began to snow.  The weather and the water is now much warmer, so I will often be found out in the bay paddling and praying.