Woman caught in adultery

Girls Camp is already half way through the first session of the summer and I'm reminded everyday why I love this job so much!  God uses summer camps to powerfully encounter and transform kids and young adults!

Every morning after breakfast we do something with the whole camp called "Table Talks," which are like a short Bible Study.  The theme that we are looking at in Girls Camp is "Encounter Jesus and be Transformed," so we look at a different Biblical character whose life was turned upside-down because of an encounter with Jesus.  Stephanie Goertzen and I have written monologues to go along with these stories that help to paint the picture of what might have been going on in the hearts and minds of these people as their lives changed radically.  Initially I thought to use some of the best known characters for these monologues, but I quickly changed my mind to focus on some of the unlikely people and decided to not shy away from issues that they might bring up like Nicodemus, Zaccheaus, the Samaritan woman, and Martha.

This is the poetic monologue I wrote for the story of the woman caught in adultery (John 8):

I am a woman

No longer with prominence

Without honor

A woman whose reputation cannot be recovered

My choices now stand trial

And my fate lies in the hands of these men

This crowd who hold the choice of life or death

Who already know the law

And how it will end

I cannot go back

It is too late now

I know I was wrong

I was foolish and arrogant to think

My sin wouldn’t be found out

To live innocent with a

Secret lurking in the shadows

You wouldn’t know by my face

But my heart betrayed me every time

To be with a man not my husband

To pretend and escape

This false-reality I created

Would one day be undone

Unraveled

Deserted

Exposed

A mistake

I cannot go back

It is too late now

For the weight of regret and shame 

Is death itself

Though the stones have not yet been thrown

I am sentenced in their eyes

My life and heart lie broken

Shattered in pieces

The deed already done

I had seen you before

For it’s hard not to recognize you

The country is abuzz with the sound of your name

Wondering at all You say You are

A healer

A Judge

Priest

Messiah

King?

But what will you say of me?

As acting judge to this crowd

Do you side with them and the law they represent?

Who will cast the first stone; You or them?

You bend down and I shrink away

And brace for the rock to hit

From my place in the dirt time moves on

And I lift my face to watch yours

Your lips move but no words are heard

Your hands move in the soil and words emerge

“Who is without sin and condemns her now?”

These words echoing with power to the core of hearts

From their sandaled feet the wise leave first

And the young slowly follow

Without lifting my head I know only you remain

From the dust

Your words breathe Life

I cannot go back 

It is too late now

To alter the past or erase the stains

But I can go forward

And leave the sin behind

Choosing life and truth

From now on living differently

Not the same but changed

Fully loved

Fully free

Not condemned but redeemed

Not struck down but esteemed

Not disgraced but clean

Living new in Him

Clinging to His words

Seeing and believing like never before

“I condemn you not.

Go. And sin no more.”

This woman's story has struck a chord in my heart and has been resounding like an echo in all that I have done this week.  I'm not sure exactly what God is speaking to me about, but I'm glad we get to tell her story to this generation of young woman this summer.

Cabin Life

I got to spend three wonderful days at the cottage with my siblings.  It was exactly what I needed! We laughed a lot and enjoyed the place we love to the fullest.


Cabin Life from Janelle Stevens on Vimeo.

We proudly present ... the Espresso Bomb!

We proudly present....The Espresso Bomb! from Janelle Stevens on Vimeo.

Backstreets Back...at MPC

Backstreets Back from Janelle Stevens on Vimeo.

Work and Play: Island life

 

The  dining hall

  

Heading to the landing to help with the 5-tonne shipment

 

Shipment time!  Even Kira gets in on the fun on the PIII

 

Caitlin and I making silly videos in my office

Thomas, Ben and Joel watching and getting ready for Espresso Bombs!

(Espresso Bomb: A drop shot of espresso in a glass of Pepsi or Coke for the ultimate caffeine experience) 

 

Dantz, Graeme and Kate doing the Espresso Bomb dance while filming for the "Espresso Bomb Documentary"

Strolling Home

Getting out of bed has been an adventure the last week or so.  My mind and Spirit are wide awake at 6am, however, my body protests loudly and usually wins, gripping tightly to the down duvet and pillow for just a little while longer.  Lying there usually means my mind begins to rev up for the day and my Spirit begins to pray for strength to simply make it through everything ahead.

Today was beginning along the same vein but for some reason, I was able to get up, dressed and out of the house for a walk in the early morning light and drizzle.  Sunday mornings in Wolseley are very quiet and serene.  I chose the most deserted, green, tree-canopy streets and was grateful for the gentle mist that fell on my face to help soothe my mind and heart.  I simply desired to go for a walk with Jesus and hear what was on His heart.

As I walked for over an hour along the beautiful streets of big, colorful, old houses with front porches, I couldn't help but dream about having my own home some day, about raising a huge family in a big old house, a garden and a dog.  I longed for a place of my own and a life seemingly far off.

It didn't take long before I was struck by the futility of those thoughts and the misplaced longing.  I was spending my time yearning for the future, for what could be, of a life that is not mine and a day far from today.  I was longing for beauty, for sanctuary, for belonging and for home.

The next moment I laughed out loud as it struck me: I may never have a house of my own.  I may never have a big family or spaces of beauty that I fantasize about...the garden, the library, the kitchen nook, oak staircases, bench by the river, big slobbery dog...
Because though those dreams are not bad in and of themselves, they will never ultimately satisfy or fulfill me.  That is not what I am made for; I was made for God and for another realm.  I was made for true communion with Christ and for paradise. 

Everything of this world will fall flat of the longing and inkling of beauty I desire.  The home I truly seek is in and with Christ.  Jesus is my home.  He is the fulfillment of my unsatisfied heart.  Anywhere, anytime, all the time, I can be at home and satisfied and surrounded by beauty and lack nothing.

Jesus heard my heart during this impromptu walk.  I had been longing for God and God alone, and in a still small voice, He spoke exactly what I had been desperate to hear all along....
"Janelle, I love your heart, your daydreams and all, and you are home."

And I laughed again.  For I felt His delight in the journey He had taken my heart through a Sunday morning stroll in Wolseley.

"Blessed are those who dwell in Your house; they will still be praising You.  Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on a pilgrimage...For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand.  I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness" (Ps. 84:4-5,10).

My brother says I'm funny

It may shock some to know that for much of my childhood/teenage/college years I did not like anything. And I mean anything!  I had what my sister describes as, "Phases," throughout that time of interests, hobbies or activities that I would get "very passionate about for a little while, perhaps a year or so if it was lucky, and then fizzle out never to appear again." But I lacked true enjoyment and genuine interest.  Each "phase" is now a great inside joke or embarrassing recollection.  Yes, I would get "very passionate" about hand-washing, or field hockey, or being famous one day, or not washing my hair, or PlusOne (pretty sweet Christian boy-band back in the day), or javelin and discuss throwing but I did not have true enjoyment or lasting pleasure in those things.

Most of the things that I have gotten into during my life have been for one or two reason:
1) To try to fit in
2) To try to be different and stand out

I would become involved in activities, interests, groups of people, ways of thinking - in "phases," because I wanted to fit into my family or friend group, or because I didn't feel like I fit in, to go the total other direction and stand out so that I would get attention for being different.

I remember some years, particularly in my "dark, depressed, cave days" in university, I did not like anything.  It would be impossible for me to make decisions at a restaurant because I truly did not know what I liked to eat.  I would not want to do any social activity or hobby because I could not think of a single thing I would like to do.  I never bought new clothes because I didn't like anything that was in the mall...not a single thing, so I wore the same pair of sweat pants for my whole degree.  Gross, yes, but you do what you got to do.

Thankfully, God chose to have a different testimony come from my life! Over the last couple of years, through the power of the redemption of Christ by His salvation and gift of the Holy Spirit, my heart, mind and emotions have been apart of a healing process that looks more like a total overhaul.  Long way to go still?  YES! But man am I excited to love things and find new things that I like all the time! 

My brother told me this week that I was funny.  I like that!  (One of the best compliments ever, especially when it comes from a 16yr. old boy)

My sister said that she noticed I have been really happy and fun to be around the last couple months.  I love that!

They for sure would not have said that a year or two ago.  They did not want to go near me, especially when I was a student and feared coming near my bedroom - I was like a troll in a cave, and if I ever came out, you better be hiding or far far away!  I actually enjoy doing things now, and can finally choose what I would like to order off a menu, though I do have a default setting where I really ever get chicken fingers and fries.  I even suggest activities that would be fun because I finally know what I like, and not just what other people like or how I can just be different. Now that is testimony of what Jesus can do when we surrender, and allow Him to bring healing and freedom...He releases JOY!  I will continue on this path because it is way better than disliking everything in and around you.

Here's a sample list that I put together in 2 minutes of things I really, genuinely like right now:
(I have a tendency to say that each one of these "is, like, my favourite thing in the whole world"... I'm a little passionate now about liking and loving things, what can I say?)