Sunday, November 30, 2008

Just around the river bend....

I had quite the week. I got back last night from hanging out with Sue McKinney for five days. It was pretty incredible. I met Sue almost five years ago during the first summer I worked at camp and was amazed with her ability and knowledge around Girls camp. Though I did not know her that well, I was incredibly excited to spend a few days with her and to celebrate my first American Thanksgiving. I was kind of anxious at first, but I figured that I am pretty good with getting along with most people, and I have plenty of practice staying at people's houses that I don't know. So, I felt the peace of the Lord and stepped into this new adventure with great enthusiasm.

She picked me up Wednesday afternoon and we went to her place in Emporia for the night. Unbeknownst to me, she had arranged for a semi-interview with a guy she would like to see work at camp. So after raking up her leaves in her yard, we walked down to the pizza parlor (Emporia is the quintessential American small town with the brick buildings all down main street with windows decorated for Christmas and people strolling down the sidewalks and saying 'hi' to everyone. It was amazing!) and met up with Kade.

He is a super amazing guy! Wow! He was an old student of Sue's and she always thought that he would love to work at camp. They have often had conversations about faith and spirituality, and he has such a compassionate, servant heart that he is a very rare person indeed. I told him all about camp, who we are, what we stand for, what are programs are like, what the community is like, etc.He was also very intrigued about the fact that I was down here at IHOP and asked me to share about my time down here. It was such a great experience to feel the Holy Spirit working and speaking through me as I was given wisdom about what to say and share, how I could encourage him, prophesy over his life and I got super passionate, even tearing up. Kade just took it all in. At the end, he also teared up as he thanked me for sharing and as he expressed his delight in knowing that I was so happy. He also said how he wants to learn more about Jesus and to find that kind of fullness of life and satisfaction in God. I am very excited for another American to possibly join us out on the island this summer!

Thursday was American Thanksgiving and so we drove down to Wichita to Sue's sister and brother-in-law's place where I experienced my first major American holiday. Wow. It was wonderful and I realized again that Canada and the USA are very different... They go all out! In the backyard fire pit, homemade Wassel was brewing over the fire as a warm welcome to the day. Inside, we were the first to arrive, so after the introductions, I began helping with the meal prep. They adopted me right away and I felt at home peeling the potatoes, decorating the butter, arranging the veggie tray, setting out snacks swapping recipes. After the rest of the in-laws arrived, the other ladies took over their duties and I got to know some of Sue's nieces and nephews. They are great. Laura, her niece, surprised the family by flying in from Florida and arriving just as we were about to eat. After a short Thanksgiving prayer we ate! The conversation centered around politics and local sports. Even grandma got into it with passionately talking about KU basketball, knowing all the players names and details; I was quite impressed.

I helped do the dishes, which apparently means that I am officially now a part of the family and they would like me to join them for Christmas...or any other time I might be in the area. It was great to be with them and feel so welcomed.

Sue and I traveled back to Emporia and left early Friday morning for her cabin. What a fabulous time! It took five hours to get there, and we talked the whole time. I learned so much about American history, the stories from that area, geography, folklore, and saw great little towns and back roads all over Kansas and Missouri. Among some of my favourite sites, the nuclear power plant in the middle of nowhere, surround by nature preserves was my favourite, along with Cassvilles' "Joe the Plummer."

Her place is nestled in the Ozark, and it felt like being in a different world. It was so beautiful, and remote, and ...backwoods? I'm not quite sure how to describe it accurately, but some of the places look right out of a movie or history book. Some people continue to live fairly remote and simple mountain lives, living off the land.

It was beautiful up at here place - a total retreat in the mountains, and just down the street from the amazing Table Rock Lake. It was spa like with all the immenities of a hotel, but in the wilderness. I could go on and on about all the cabins/homes/lodges/mansions that were around there, but it would take hours of needless tiny details. The diversity in landscape and vegetation was incredible and I tried my first wild black walnuts and hickory nuts. I wish we could grow those in Manitoba!

She wanted to show me the whole area, so Saturday afternoon and evening, we drove through the mountains and into Arkansas to some tourist towns hidden away. It was great and wished that I could have taken more pictures. We passed a zoo and the Ozark Bamboo Forest - which seemed kind of out-of-place to me, but I guess it works. I had some of the best Italian food ever and then we went back. Sleeping in, reading, writing, sitting around the fire drinking tea, eating amazing food, going for hikes, driving golf carts and seeing the first snowflakes of the season were all highlights. She was so gracious in driving me back to Kansas City yesterday ...she drove a lot this week (I think we were in the car a total of 15+ hours in five days) and we stopped on the side of the road so I could buy fresh pecans...wild, fresh off the tree, and they taste so amazing!!!!! (I am eating some as I write this blog).I was able to do a lot of reflecting and simply relaxing. I lead a pretty amazing life. My life has been far from boring or predictable, and I am learning daily to simply trust in the Lord for His guidance and provision, and to open to all the little promptings of the Spirit. The friendships, opportunities, experiences and adventures that seem to appear around every little corner are blessed invitations to learn more about my Creator and to explore more of His beauty and love. God is so gracious and good. Wow. I am blown away with the lovingkindness of our Lord and am so excited that I still have 21 days down here. I am sure they will be great and can't imagine what might be around the bend!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Biggest Adventure Yet

So, I think this weeks adventure tops them all so far. Another beautiful, but more brisk, fall day called to me from inside Higher Grounds, and I knew I had to answer back. So with Ugly Runners ready to go, and my favourite SmartWool Socks pulled up high with the jeans tucked in, I set off. I went in a new direction with one goal in mind: "MILKSHAKE." I had a bit of a craving, so I thought that it provided a suitable objective for the days mission. Five kilometers later, I held the precious, thick, sweet, pink drink in my hands and was flooded by the multitude of memories that arise every time I'm in the vicinity of a McDonalds. Nothing better.

With that now accomplished, what else was there to do but press on recklessly in search of another exciting discovery?

The Bargain Factory did not disappoint!

To give you a picture of what this little treasure was like, let me invite you into a conversation I had with my friend Karen shortly after returning home for the evening ( I will elaborate in parenthesis):
Janelle

.... I was in the prayer room in the morning, but left early to go to Higher Grounds and wrote like 20 pages in my journal. I've had a bit of writers block the last couple of days, but it was flowing today....and then said to myself "Janelle, it's a beautiful day, do something!!!!"

so I put on my ugly running shoes and went for a three hour walk.

I walked all the way to McDonalds...which is like 5 km

Karen

amazing

hahaha

Janelle

and then found the coolest store ever....well, it is was a warehouse, so kind of sketchy and in the middle of no where

and I was kind of worried of creepy guys stopping me on the side of the road, but that didn't happen. Praise the Lord.

but besides that, it was pretty awesome...this store is like a warehouse of over stock from stores/inventories and has everything in it!!!!!!

like, freezers and freezers and freezers full of icecream, and pallets of clorex wipes

there were these gansta shoes locked up in one section, (next to the fake jewelry)

all the sunscreen you could ever want!!!!! a wall of coloring books

a whole back room for pet stuff...funky, dollar store kind of clothes....(there was even a whole flea market section for all those used clothes you wanted. I was actually tempted by the 80's cut-off jean shorts. So good!)

...tons of cinnamon syrup for drinks, corn maze, and ryvita crackers....

single packets of coffee (like at camp...you could buy just one if you wanted, and have you ever tried chai mocha latte's before? I saw some packets for that but was unsure of the taste combo that might create)....

(but I couldn't find any peanut butter... interesting.... The police man at the front door kind of stared me down: did I look that suspicious? What was I going to steal? The ProActive sun protection lotion? Maybe he was worried about the $4 Miss Congeniality movie or perhaps the toilet seat covers that you could get in three different colors...who knows, but there was a lot of good stuff in there!)

and then there was all the christmas stuff.....OH BOY!!!!!JACKPOT!!!!!!!!!

if you have ever seen tacky, useless, christmas things, ornaments, etc....they had nothing on this!!!!!

Karen

hahahahaha oh man!

Janelle

I had to restrain myself from buying a whole bunch of stuff because the tackiness/uselessness/ugliness of it would have been so epic!!!

THERE WAS A HUGE STUFFED-TOY REINDEER HEAD TO MOUNT ON YOUR WALL!!!!!!

Who comes up with these things?!?!?!

Okay....and then they best thing that I have ever experienced in my whole life, and I am not even exaggerating at all....are you ready for this?

Karen

i dont know! am i? how could i not be

Janelle

okay, seriously, you need to buckle in for this...(ahem)

Karen

buckled

Janelle

so, I was making my way through the furniture and big items section, looking at the "make your own pond" kits, the large desks, hutches, and chandeliers.....and then I saw it....

A CASKET



REALLY



I didn't know what to do with myself, I couldn't believe my eyes...so, naturally, I went over for a closer look.

yup, totally a casket. and it was very red and very shiny

I think it was supposed to look like wood, but turned out this shiny, satin red with silver handles and white fabric

Karen

YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN IN IT

Janelle

welll........ uh

Karen

OH MY GOODNESS

thats so awesome

how much??

Janelle

okay, well, I didn't get into it exactly, but I did walk by it and kind of tilted my body horizontal to see if I would fit, and I am pretty sure it is exactly my size.....and ONLY $500 !!!!!!!

seriously....so tempting.....but then I thought "hmmm, I wonder what people will think if they know that I have a casket in the basement, or buy one and put it away in storage....for later, or in case of emergency

how awesome a prop could that be, too bad it would probably be very very inappropriate for camp

so yup, all that in one day...oh and then Christina, Mandy and I went to Target (which I love) and then to the evening church service. that was my day

Karen

if that casket isnt gone... we should all pitch in and buy it

make some excillent practical jokes

give it to jer as a new bed or something

Janelle

...hahah. how would I get that over the border?

Karen

i dont know... if you dont act weird about it no one will ask

Janelle

it would be pretty awesome.

Karen

especially if their isnt a body in it

Janelle

hahahahah!!!!! oh boy.


I was joking about the border thing. I was having the time of my life in that store and kind of wished other people were there to verify my story and maybe take a picture or two. I will probably just have to go back and check on the status of that casket so if anyone is interested....

http://www.thebargainfactory.net/


Monday, November 3, 2008

Loving with all our HEART

It is November already. It is almost a month that I have been here at the International House of Prayer. It is profoundly a different place that I am at emotionally and spiritually than when I left.

I have intentionally refrained from posting an update on my blog because I am so often focused on processing everything, debriefing, wrapping things up into pithy statements and conclusions, and articulating my experiences and new revelations. However, with the amount that the Lord is working in me, and the ways that He is teaching me and revealing His Beauty, Love, Righteousness, Excellency, I want to just sit in it for awhile and let it go deep into my heart and my spirit and not try to figure it all out. I think that I sometimes miss the point by trying to state it. So, I'm not going to!

There has been so much going on, from EGS (Encountering God Services) on Friday and Saturdays, to prophetic ministry time, conferences, 40+ hours in the prayer room a week, parties with new friends, church services, and today I began classes as part of the Commission program which continues until the end of the month. It has all been very wonderful and I know that God is transforming my heart to receive more of His love and to love Him in return.

I will share one thing that has really impacted me: This past Friday, we had Stephen Venable speak at EGS and it was one of the most life-changing messages that I have ever heard on the Greatest Commandment and loving the Lord with our whole hearts. I was totally wrecked by the truth that he spoke and God has used it to effect everything in my life! The way that I think and live has been radically touched and changed by this paradigm of setting all of our affection on Jesus so that He can give us the ability to love Him in return with everything!!! I would recommend everyone download the notes (http://ihop.org ...right at the bottom of the home page is a list of the latest notes, or go to the notes section in the top menu bar), and I purchased an mp3 copy if anyone would like to hear it. They encourage the copying and distribution of their notes and material, which I think is very cool.

Here are some more pictures from my latest adventures this weekend. It has been absolutely beautiful here and I am trying to make the most of it.
May you be blessed and may God touch your heart.

November 3: Stopping to smell the roses. It reached +28 today.
A very calm street corner. The elections are tomorrow and it is crazy how big a deal it is.
A huge tree ring

My Canadian Friends! Funny enough, the are migrating south from Kansas City right now and the sound of their honking over the house makes me feel like I am back home.
A beautiful forest path.
It was such a beautiful day, I walked and explored for about two hours.
A real life praying mantis!!! Very appropriate.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

The next stage

Already half way into week two, I am beginning to realize that time is going to race by faster than ever.  Focusing on staying present in the moment and making the most of every day has never felt so urgent!  

I am finding it difficult to try and put into words all that I am learning, thinking about, and what is happening in my heart, but stuff is going on and it is GOOD.
So much has been encouraged in my heart and I delight to know more God more and more everyday.  This past weekend, I attended the Weekends@IHOP where I met about a dozen other Canadians who had come for a couple of days.  It was wonderful to be with them, and connected immediately despite the fact they were from all over the country.  With great teaching and wonderful seminars, there was much ignited in my spirit.  The highlight was the prophetic seminar that I attended on Saturday, where the opportunity was presented to come up and practice and grow in the gift of prophecy, which I felt called to do.  It turned into a hour of ministry and prophesying over the people in the room, from which I left and received prophetic ministry time back at the prayer room.  What an incredible experience to realize the delight and joy that God has for His people and be able to share that with them in ways that personally and individually touch them!  God loves to speak to His people!  What was said and shared with me was so encouraging and exactly what I needed to hear!  The things I had mediated on during the week and what God had been working in my heart prior to me moving down here was all confirmed and ignited even more.  I love it when God does that.

Some of the things I have been reading and thinking about include:
-The whole book of Isaiah! It has always been my favourite and I am receiving more understanding and revelation everyday.  
- The story and history of Israel, particularly the Exodus from Egypt and their exile in Babylon.  I don't know what it is, but these subjects are just fascinating me.  It is also the intercession sets for Israel that set my spirit on fire more than anything else and I often go back to them again and again on the webstream.
- I am reading through "Secrets of the Secret Place" by Bob Sorge, so everyday there is new revelation through that study.
- I think I have five books on the go, and they are all really good, I just have yet to finish one.

Living as part of the Greenwood house has been an incredible experience already.  I have been welcomed in and made just one of the girls.  Mandy, Christina and I get along really well, and Christina and I had a lovely girls night this week where we went shopping at The Plaza and out for coffee.  Gerry came up with an idea last week to have different people over to the house for us to cook for and host for an evening.  She is calling it "Greenwood Inn Hospitality Dinners," and we have decided that about once a week, we will invite different guys from this community to come over.  This is a great way just to bless the guys around IHOP and be sisters to them.  Gerry affectionately says that this is so that "her little darlings can practice keeping house and hosting for their own place one day."  This week we had a friend named Will stop by and it was a great evening! Monday night we will cook an Italian meal for two brothers.  This is turning into a highlight of my weeks!

As a house, we are also all involved in the "Lady In Waiting" book group.  With some other girls from the base, Gerry and Joanna have created a small group for young women to study about it means to "become God's best while waiting for Mr. Right."  The truth and life that I am taking from these Wednesday night meetings and reading through this book is completely shifting my thinking and paradigms! Realizing the amount of deep-set lies and deceptions about what it means to be a woman, how I think about marriage and singleness, and how I view myself is so good and so painful at the same time.  However, I desire to be all that God has created me to be and no longer want to be held back by lies, so I welcome the painful process of stripping away that which is not of God and clothing myself in His Word and Truth. 

I suppose you could say that I am coming out of the 'honeymoon season' of the novelty of it all being new and exciting, and beginning to deal with some very real and deep-rooted heart issues.  I knew this was coming...

Today has been especially potent in its realizations and the facing of some of the darkness and brokenness of my own life.  Being faced with the real questions of my soul, the fears and doubts that I still carry around, as well as being reminded of the fact that we fight not against flesh and blood but against powers and things unseen, it is all I can do to stand and say, "yet Lord Jesus, I praise You.  I simply desire You.  Reveal Yourself to me."

I would like to ask for prayer that this process be filled with grace, healing, restoration and freedom.   Also, if you could keep me in your prayers as I will begin a forty-day fast this week, focusing on interceding for my family, camp and personal breakthrough as I sit before the Throne of God and minister unto Him.

The Greenwood house is full this weekend with visitors as the Women in the Prophetic Conference begins tomorrow morning.  I am very excited to learn more about the Lord and to gaze upon His Beauty.

"Do not let your adornment be merely outward - arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel - rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God" (1 Peter 3:3-4).

Here are some pictures of the beautiful fall here in Kansas City.  I went adventuring a couple of afternoons with my camera and enjoyed the warm sunshine.
Brilliant colours everywhere!

A beautiful little waterfall.

Mr. Bumblebee's photoshoot

Shiloh Gardens - part of IHOP

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Tornados, Ugly Runners and Disc Golf

There is a tornado siren right outside of the parking lot at the Missions Base that I am looking at from the cafe and kind of wish that I was here during tornado season. How cool would that be? I wonder what the siren sounds like? Would I even recognize it to be a warning?  I have never heard a tornado siren so would I think that it was just an emergency vehicle driving past or a car alarm?

During a lot of the intercessions sets, teams sing and pray about "sounding the alarm" from Joel 2:1: "Blow the trumpet in Zion, and sound an alarm in My holy mountain!  Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble: for the day of the LORD is coming, for it is at hand."  With all that is happening in the world, the current economic disaster in the States and the elections taking place in North America, I was made to wonder if I sometimes miss the sound of the alarm.  Maybe we haven't heard it before so it is a foreign sound that we ignore, or perhaps it is so familiar that we simply tune it out, and perhaps we are living in a time when the trumpet is beginning to sound.  Seeing the big tornado horn at the top of the pole today reminded me to become more attuned to what God is doing in the earth, and to pay attention to what is happening. 

I am trying to make the most of the beautiful fall days here.  Even though it has rained the last couple of days, I still walk everywhere and just pull out the 'ol rain gear (which has the ever present, familiar and nostalgic drybag and fire scent clinging to the fabric).  I'm going to be in good shape at the end of this! I think I probably walked about 5 or 6 miles yesterday, up and down the hilly neighbourhood right around the Prayer Room...wearing the shoes...So, I took a pair of runners that mom had an extra set of...which I am very thankful for because they were free, but they just aren't the cute kind I would like....and they are a little bit too small for me. Because I walk everywhere I need to wear them, but they just make me feel like a power-walking mom who's trying to get rid of the baby fat from kid number six while her oldest kids are in school....hey wait, what am I complaining about?  That is the look I want to go for!!!! I should totally invest in mom jeans already and get a head start!

I am off to play some disc golf with Christina and some of her friends...who I don't know yet.  I've never played disc golf but I am pretty confident that it will be an embarrassing experience. So, here I go.  I will let you know what happens!
 


Sunday, October 12, 2008

We aren't in Winnipeg anymore Toto.

I'm Here.

The physical, "here" is IHOP.  Kansas City, MO. Geri's house.  The Spiritual "here" is still unclear and less defined.  All I know is that God has called me to this place for a time, and I am being faithful to what He has said to me.  What this is going to be like or what I will experience is a complete mystery, but I am excited for whatever will happen.  I suppose I have some expectations, yet I really desire to be truly open and available to God during this season so that I might take in all that He has for me.  

So, sitting on a beautiful day bed I get to call my own in "The Nest," a sunken room at the back of the house that leads to the back patio, I am overwhelmed by the fact I am actually here.  The warm breeze is moving through the light, gauzy drapes, the fans are on and the sun is shining on me through the sunlights.  It is +28 today and the neighbour's voices are drifting in as they play football in the backyard.  Next door, they began raking the few leaves that have fallen and the deep accents of these southern people sooth and calm me to a deeper peace yet.  I am going to like it here!  

Church this morning was a wonderful experience - surrounded by hundreds of people, sitting with the Winnipeg crew (there were five of us this weekend), the message was powerful and the music phenomenal.  It connected deeply within me though I can't put words to it and simply made me more hungry for more of God...longing and yearning to experience Him more.  I can feel the stirrings and the shiftings in my Spirit already and know that I will be a different person by the end of this season.  I am going out for dinner for Kristi's birthday with the Sanctuary people tonight and am so glad that I know people already and am not totally alone at the beginning of this adventure.

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement.  I hope to post on this blog at least once a week to let everyone know what is happening and a bit about what I am learning.

Blessings and peace to you my friends.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Forever Marked

Many people have noticed or heard that I had a couple of tattoos done this last month so I wanted to explain what they mean and why I got them done.  For a few years now, I have been saving money and thinking about if this was really something I wanted to do.  
It was on the staff training canoe trip this spring that I was really convinced that this was something I wanted.  The word that I was thinking about getting tattooed was "Beloved" - I am the beloved of Christ, part of the Bride (the Church) who is awaiting the return of the Bridegroom.  I could go on and on about all the thoughts and reasons that have gone through my mind, but it really came down to a conversation I had with God on the most rainy and cold day of the river trip.  Sitting in the bow, silently paddling down the river (I usually don't talk while I paddle, but love the days of silence to think and pray), drenched in cold rain, I simply closed my eyes and kept paddling.

Out loud, I began to sing, "Purify my heart, let me be as gold and precious silver...Refiner's Fire. My heart's one desire is to be holy, set apart for you Lord.  I choose to be holy, set apart for you my Master, ready to do your will....cleanse me from my sin, and make me holy...cleanse me from my sin deep within.."....over and over again as a deep longing and hearts cry.  I felt the rain hit me and it became like a cleansing shower, stripping away some of the hardness of my heart, and I heard the truth of God say over me, "You are clean, I have given you a pure heart.  You no longer need to believe the lies that you are not good enough or not worthy.  The names that you have called yourself for so long are not true, for you are worthy, I have created you in my image.  I love you, my daughter, my beloved."

Again and again those words filled my head and my heart, and with the rain, I let years of lies wash off.  I realized that for most of my life, it was not the pain of what others called me or what my peers thought of me that held me down, but rather those names and things that I called and believed about myself that hindered me from truly stepping into the fullness of who God had made me to be and the plans he had for me..."plans to prosper and not harm you, to give you a hope and a future" (Jer. 29:11).

Now, with the cleansing rain, God was saying, "I have called you by a new name; You are mine...Everyone who is called by My name, whom I have created for My glory; I have formed him, yes, I have made him...Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old.  Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it?" (Is. 43:1, 7,18-19).  I was loved by God! His truth, finally getting from my head to my heart, hit with such clarity and power and the old lies and names washed away.  It was that moment that I knew that everyday I wanted to be reminded of who I was in Christ,that my Father in Heaven things of me and what my true identity is, that I wanted to be forever marked by God that I was His child and belonged to Him...
That same day, we camped next to a huge waterfall and I stood at the edge of the powerful, rushing water feeling renewed and filled with living water.
It truly was a new morning, with new mercies, and new perspective when I got out of the tent the next day!

The hebrew word "Ahab" can mean many things: to love, love for God, act of being a friend, lover, God's love toward man, lovely, loving, loveable, friend, beloved, and appears 208 times in the Old Testament.  
"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength" Deut. 6:5. 

"And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways and to love hIm, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments of the LORD and His statutes which I command you today for your good?  Indeed heaven and the highest heaves belong to the LORD your God, also the earth with all that is in it" 10:12-14

"I will wash my hands in innocence; So I will go about Your alter, O LORD, That I may proclaim with the voice of thanksgiving, And tell of all Your wondrous works.  LORD, I have loved the habitation of YOur house, And the place where Your glory dwells" Ps. 26:6-8.

"He loves righteousness and justice; The earth is full of the goodness of the LORD" 33:5.

"Let all those who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; And let those who love Your salvation say continually, "Let God be magnified!"' 70:4.

"Because of the fragrance of your good ointments, Your names is ointment poured fourth; Therefore the virgins love you.  Draw me away!  We will run after you. The king has brought me into his chambers. We will be glad and rejoice in you.  We will remember your love more than wine.  Rightly do they love you.  I am dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, Like the tents of Kedar, Like the curtains of Solomon."  Song of Solomon 1:3-5

My second tattoo is also a long story, but I will just say for now that it is a representation of one of my favourite chapters in Scripture - John 15, and is a visible reminder to abide in Christ.

Two vines, different shades, intertwining, mirroring the character on my wrist and stylized to shape "J's" and then 15 leaves of different shapes of gray. 

"I am the vine, you are the branches.  He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.  If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.  If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.  As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.  If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love.  These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.  This is My commandment, that you love on another as I have loved you. Greater love has on one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.  No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.  These things I command you, that you love on another."
John 15:5-17